Feeling the Moment of Not Good EnoughPosted by Katrina Kennedy on May 3, 2014 in Blog, Personal, Scrapbook, Sponsors and Giveaways | 13 comments
Have you felt that moment of panic? You know, the moment of not good enough.
When Stacy Julian of Big Picture Classes asked me to share a scrapbook page and a photo tip for National Scrapbook Day my moment hit. I was flattered and honored and then panicked.
I love photography. I love telling stories. I love putting my stories and my photos together. But let’s just be honest, I haven’t done much of that lately. I’ve got a million reasons, some legitimate and some are lame. I won’t bore you with those details.
So I went into crazy mode.
I opened Photoshop. I looked at the screen, begging it for inspiration and nothing arrived.
I opened Lightroom. I looked through my photos. There was no inspiration in the 30,000 photos that stared back at me. Lots of stories and lots of smiles, but not an ounce of inspiration.
I closed the computer and I stepped away. With a few days before my deadline. I’d think on it as I looked around for my scrapbook skills.
And then I went into cleaning mode.
I organized my desk looking for inspiration. It wasn’t buried under papers nor was it buried in the dirty clothes I threw in the wash after I tackled the office.
A day passed and I wasn’t any closer to meeting my deadline, but I could feel the pressure of the looming monster!
I thought about going to Pinterest to look for my inspiration. Then I talked myself out of heading down that rabbit hole! I’d spent time there before wondering how people created their layers of gorgeous beauty knowing it always looked like on a messy clump when I tried it.
The deadline monster was looming large. I had to get on this…fast!
So I looked for inspiration where I knew it had once been. I hooked up THE OLD external hard drive and dug through the files. There it was. Page after page of inspired words and photos. Pages from an era when my time was portioned differently and a little boy still needed a nap.
From the moment Stacy and I exchanged emails I’d shifted this slightly off-kilter mind of mine into thinking SHE (and the rest of the scrapbook world) wanted to see the same thing “everyone” else creates. I’d stripped myself of MY STYLE and MY CREATIVITY burdened by the beast of not good enough.
GET OVER YOURSELF WOMAN.
My creativity doesn’t reside in the place of buttons, ribbons, and pretty paper. Nope. I can appreciate the beauty of all of those things, but they aren’t me. My creativity and my passion exists in pixels and dirt and light and simplicity. I’d rather have a beautiful photo with one word on the page than mess with layers and brads. I appreciate them. I love them on your stuff. But they aren’t me.
And then it happened. I spewed words onto a page. I found THE photograph I wanted. And they became the perfect page. The perfect page for ME. And that, my friends is what matters most! THAT my friends is were my inspiration had been hanging out all along.
White background thanks to Photoshop. Simple photo template from Liz Tamanaha. Signature by Ian. Goatee courtesy of a drumstick.
Funny what happens when you are true to yourself!
Have you been in the moment of not feeling good enough? Do you compare and search for inspiration, ignoring WHAT YOU LOVE? In the comment below, let me know where you go to get real.
I’ll draw one lucky winner from the comments who will receive the Studio Calico Project Life ™ Cuppa Kit. Know that I gently rifled through it searching for my inspiration! It’s beautiful, complete (except for one card I’m keeping) , and deserves a home where it will be loved and cared for. Entries close Sunday, May 4th at 9PM Pacific.